If you stumbled onto this page, you must have some connection with adoption. If you got past the "Mothers in Recovery" - then I would guess you are a mother of adoption loss. Welcome.
We belong to a club. A group of women who prefer to have never been inducted. Sadly, there's no way out of this club. Once in, you are a lifetime member. It can be lonely. It can be devastating. It can crush you with raw longing and emotions. It can make you physically sick. We do, however, go on to live productive lives. It might not be easy, but we are survivors. But it hurts.
No doubt, it's tough to discuss your thoughts, feelings and emotions with those around you. I couldn't do it for 35 years which constitutes the bulk of my adult life. Actually, I was told not to discuss it - in fact, I was told at 17 never to speak of it again. Once I took the tape off my mouth, you couldn't shut me up. I have shared my story, and subsequently heard other women's stories for almost 3 years and it never fails to strike me how awful we were treated for the sake of - what? Society? Our parents? Our significant others?
I truly feel that if I could have kept myself in the dark for so long, never speaking, how many other mothers are still out there living in an emotional closet? Are there others like me who still think they are the only ones this ever happened to? Are there women who are so guilt-ridden they can't even begin to consider that another human might welcome their story, and listen to their pain? I would like to think I was just really dumb and backward and am the only one that felt this way. But I fear that's not the case.
If you have never told your story, here is your outlet. If you have always wanted to ask if your feelings are real or imagined, here is your place. If you have wanted to compare you story, complain about adoptive parents, have a reunion question - again, here is your place. I cannot promise you that there won't be controversy or snarky comments from those outside the club; I can promise you validation for YOUR story, YOUR truth from the people who have lived it. Everybody else doesn't matter. In this place, you are the most important person. Ask, tell, rant, cuss - I don't care. Join in. You are loved, and not just by me, but many others. If you are a seasoned truth teller - welcome. If you have never uttered even a whisper of your story before - welcome. We are birth/first/natural mothers of loss. We get it.
