Thankful? No? You Aren't Alone

It's Thanksgiving!  A time for families to come together, celebrate their multitude of blessings, laugh when Aunt Sara drinks too much wine, and maybe plan that Black Friday shopping trip.  It's a time to play games, eat too much and watch football.  Loosen the top button on your pants.  Make yourself aware of all that you have and just how fortunate you are for having it.

If you are a Mother of Loss, you feel the void in your life deeply during holidays.  Maybe you were promised an open adoption that has since closed.  Maybe you had a closed adoption and still don't even know if your child-now-adult is even alive.  Maybe you have met your child or adult child, but they have chosen to continue their lives without you in it, for whatever reason.  Maybe, just maybe, you are in a "good" reunion, but still feel the burden of all the lost and unknown years when you left an imaginary place at the table for your MIA child. 


The only words of comfort I can give to you today is be kind to YOU.  It doesn't matter what others think or feel about your situation - the only person that matters is YOU.  You need not rewrite you story to make it more palatable for others to accept.  You know what happened to you and regardless of how vile and unbelievable the circumstances surrounding the loss seems to others, it is, as they say, what it is.  Your feelings are your feelings.  Know that there is solidarity with thousands of other women who sit at a table today with an empty place who feel the way you do.

I offer my sympathy for your loss.  I recognize your grief for your loss and your absolute right to feel that grief.  As a fellow Mother of Loss, I empathize with the never-ending, grating deep soul pain you experience.  Feel your feelings.  It's ok.  Reach out to your supportive people today just to let them know they are important (and often, this is NOT your family). You are a survivor.  Remember - Mothers of Loss are some of the strongest women in the world.  We have to be. 

Peace, light and blessings to you all.  I for one am thankful that you are with me on this journey.  Without the ability to share with fellow Mothers of Loss, I would still sit at that Thanksgiving table in total darkness.  While still difficult, my light now shines because of support from women like you.

Have a peaceful day.